Brief Escape in Rome

We flew to Rome to celebrate a particular milestone last year. S deliberately planned something abroad so that we could focus on the occasion properly. I didn’t admit this at the time, but I was so grateful that he did because this brief escape gave me the opportunity to catch my breath in the midst of a very busy time at work. I felt a sense of relief similar to resting on the side of the boat after a tiring swim. I was probably free-diving deeper than I should have been, but I thought I knew what I was doing at the time and dismissed his concerns.

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Naples: Sunsets and Memories

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We made it back to our favourite spot once again. It was a much needed pause especially on my end because I was so busy filling my mind with new experiences, people and conversations.

It made me happy going back there despite Christmas being very different that year. Our hearts felt heavy with memories but we were able to release some of them with a smile with every sunset we saw.

Sand trickled through my fingers as we talked. We were quiet sometimes, not because we ran out of things to say but because we didn’t have to. We spent time together preparing ourselves for 2015 and rebuilding our lives around the events of the past year.

I was eager to get back to what I was doing and S said something which I thought and said that I understood at the time. It actually took several months after that day for me to take his words to my heart and really realize what he actually meant.

Note to Self: Hope

It was just us there standing by the viewpoint on a sunny afternoon at the Cabo de Gata-Níjar Natural Park in Spain.

I could hear the waves, the seagulls and my heart beating. I should have been scared of the unknown waiting for me at home once this road trip was over but instead I felt hopeful.

I found hope as I looked out to the horizon because I finally understood the purpose behind the magnitude of the battles I fought up to that point.

Fast forward to today, I find myself foolishly forgetting this every time I stare at the peak that I have to climb once again.

I know that I’ll get there eventually. I also know that when I do, I’ll be smiling like the time these photographs were taken because all this right now will finally make sense.

Please remember that.

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Change, Loss and Madrid in September

I was faced with inevitable changes during September last year. The dominant factor was an anticipated but unwanted one. It came as a heartache which I could feel to my bones, but the weird thing was that I still continued to function. The seconds kept ticking and the world kept turning despite feeling like the world inside my heart has stopped. That’s the crazy thing about loss.

I think it’s when you finally register the fact that life still goes on despite what happened, is also when you finally stop fighting to keep old memories, but shift your focus on building new ones alongside what’s there.

I think it’s good to breathe the air of new places and see new things to start such a change.

The weather in Madrid towards the end of September was very nice. We didn’t plan anything in terms of what we were going to do or eat but roamed the streets of this vibrant city using only our stomachs as clocks and noses for direction.

Our time in this city marked a beautiful start to our getaway from what September offered us.

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The weather remained sunny and cool enough to walk around the whole day without feeling exhausted. Continue reading

Three years old: Loss, Time and Change

Happy anni anchoritdown

I finally blew off the layer of dust that’s been resting on my blog during my unplanned hiatus. I will be working my way back slowly and reliving some of my memories through a series of photographs and words. For most parts, I’ll be taming the butterflies in my stomach due to wanderlust tickling my feet again, but for some, I might find tears well up in my eyes.

This time last year, I was in the midst of things which all happened very suddenly, constantly and seemingly without warning. I was overcome with emotions I didn’t quite know how to digest and I just wanted to shut my eyes and disappear for a while. I remember my various attempts to create posts for this blog but deleting every single one of them at the end of the day because of this … feeling. It was occupying a significant space in my heart like an acquaintance who never knew when to leave. Now when I think about it, I realized that the question was never about when it was going to finally leave, but rather why I chose to let it stay.

I’m busier than I’ve ever been but I am in the process of reinterpreting the word ‘busy’ to encompass vital breaks. So although this post has had many false starts, it doesn’t matter anymore.

Happy third anniversary Anchor it down.

Thanks for reading and to all those who’ve stuck around.